


Spideypool Oneshots and Possibly Other Stuff

by orphan_account



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-07 14:42:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of (probably just) Spideypool oneshots. (Mostly) all of them will be pretty short. (Very often) will be written when I'm bored.</p>
<p>Rated Teen cuz I just realized I suck at writing smut. Therefore, there will be no smut, explaining the lowered rating.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Two Things

As Peter swung through the night sky, he had only two things on his mind. As much as it would have been funny for him to say 'Paul Newman and a ride home', it wouldn't have worked. That was most obviously because he was already going home, but also because his thoughts had nothing to do with _The Outsiders_. He had much more important things on his mind.

 

Getting home and seeing Wade.

 

After a particularly exhausting day, all he could think about was flopping on the couch and listening to Wade babble on about some nonsense he wouldn't understand one bit. 

 

He thought about how Wade would always open the window at around that time because he new Peter would come swinging in any minute.

 

He thought about how Wade would pull up his mask and place a gentle kiss right on his lips to leave him under a spell for a few seconds, then send him chasing after Wade for more.

 

He thought about how Wade would tangle his limbs in Peter's as they settled down for the night, letting each other's presence lull them to sleep.

 

Those were the happiest thoughts that had ever found their way into his mind.

 

He kept swinging between buildings until he reached the giant apartment building, eyed the open window he knew was his and Wade's, and used one last string of web to launch his way into their apartment.

 

Much to his relief and liking, Wade walked over to him from the kitchen and lifted his mask, placing a gentle kiss on Peter's lips. Just as he had imagined it.

 

"Welcome home, Spidey," Wade whispered as he grabbed Peter's hand and lured him inside.

 

After he got out of the daze created purely by Wade's kiss, he followed Wade further into their apartment with a smile on his face.

 

By then, the two things on his mind were highly inappropriate.


	2. Busy Day

"But I don't wanna get up. Pwease stay wif me, Spidey," Wade whined in reply to Peter's command to get dressed.

 

"WADE. Get. Up. Now. We have to go out soon if we want to have enough time before the party."

 

"Remind me again why we are going to that crappy-ass party? I thought tonight you were gonna let me suck your-"

 

"Up. Now," Peter interrupted, trying to ignore the slight shift in his pants after hearing what Wade said.

 

His dick had gotten too weak to put up with all the things Wade said.

 

Peter threw Wade some clothes, not really paying attention to whose they were. They had long passed the point of caring whether the other one wears their clothes. He headed out of the bedroom to get something quick to eat, and returned when he had found something suitable.

 

Wade was still buried under the covers.

 

Peter just let out a small chuckle and walked over to the other side of the bed, laying down next to his boyfriend. Once he got close enough, Wade moved a hand to Peter's face, stroking his cheek and then curling his fingers in his hair. Peter let out a hum and closed his eyes, snuggling closer to Wade.

 

That was the unspoken answer to Wade's begging. They were going to stay there for a while.

 

"So..." Wade started, "I was thinking we could just stay here today. Pizza for lunch, a movie, and... what time is the party?"

 

"Seven."

 

"Good. Pizza for lunch, a movie, and then I'll have time to kiss you and lick your neck and suck your-"

 

"Do I have to interrupt you again?" Peter asked angrily. He really had gotten too weak.

 

"And then I'ma rip off all your clothes and you can rip off mine and I'm gonna bite your ear and pin you to the bed and-"

 

"Stoooooooooop," Peter whined, shifting his legs so they covered up the growing bulge in his pajama pants.

 

"Come on, Petey, I'm just saying what I want to do. You're acting like a horny college kid, getting a boner already."

 

Peter looked at Wade like he was the dullest, dumbest thing alive.

 

"Ooooh. Right. You're like exactly college age..."

 

Peter just chuckled and snuggled closer to Wade - if that was even possible - and was startled when Wade shot out of bed, heading to the closet.

 

"Come on then, Peter! We have a busy day ahead of us! Get up, ya lazy bum!" Wade exclaimed. Peter rolled his eyes.

 

"A very busy day indeed," he mumbled.

 

When Wade walked back over to the bed and gave him a kiss, he experienced an unimaginable pressure in his crotch.

 

He had gotten too weak.

 


	3. Beginnings (Peters POV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like a horrible Marvelite for saying I didn't know Deadpool was in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. A movie I've watched a thousand times. Carry on.

There was a small restaurant on a corner a few minutes away from home. When I was younger, Aunt May would always take me there sometime over the weekend and we would have lunch.

 

That ended up being the place I liked to sit. On the roof, that is, and only when I was so exhausted or bored that I had nowhere else to go. 

 

Basically, it was my favorite place in the whole city. 

 

And it's also where I met Wade.

 

I had just sat down after a particularly exhausting patrol, and I had no intention whatsoever of moving anytime in the near future.

 

My laziness: the first quality of mine that my boyfriend-to-be observed. And the worst quality of mine that my boyfriend-to-be observed. Ever.

 

Except for the whole me leaving him for like 5 months thing. But we don't like to talk about that.

 

So anyway, I was sitting down, probably eating something, but hell if I can remember, and thinking about how alone I was.

 

Leave it to Wade fucking Wilson to come bounding out of the door on the roof, right when I'm about to lose it.

 

"I CAME IN LIKE A-"

 

He paused for a second when he looked at me, and then started jumping up and down.

 

"Hey Spider-Man! Mind if I "spide" with you? Ha that was funny," he said as he sat down next to me, not bothering to let me answer his question.

 

Let it be known that Wade Wilson was slightly insane and probably dropped as a child.

 

"Hey, Deadpool. Nice to see you," I said, not refraining from sarcasm one bit.

 

"You can call me Wade." He held out his hand. "What's your name? Is it actually Spider-Man? That would be cool." I swallowed down a chuckle as I took his hand.

 

"Trying to decide whether or not to trust you, but you have the maturity of a seven-year-old girl, so I'm going to go with yes. I'm... I'm Peter."

 

"Well nice to meet you, Petey! I mean I guess we've met if you count swinging past my apartment window one time."

 

I looked down like I imagined Captain America would do if someone said something stupid. [AN - Ha, now you have a mental image from The Avengers.]

 

"Yeah. Okay, well I have to go home so Aunt-" 

 

I refrained from giving him any idea I was a minor.

 

"...so ....ants don't invade my... apartment tonight. Yeah. Ants. So, uh, bye," I said, and got up, then shaking Wade's hand.

 

"See ya later, Peter?"

 

"See ya later, Deadp- um, Wade."

 

And with that, I swung away from the building like any other night.

 

Little did I know that night was the night that changed my life forever.


	4. No Matter What

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a super short one. But hopefully you guys think it's at least a little funny. I guess it's the party they talked about in Chapter 2.

"Wade, let's go. I think you've had enough of this party."

 

"But Petey. Sweet, sweet Petey," Wade slurred, "I'm having SOOOO much fun. I like strawberry scented lemon cake. Please don't make me gooooooo."

 

"Strawberry scented-? You know what, I'm not going to ask. You need to come with me. We're going home."

 

"But Petey, everyone lllloves me!"

 

"Wade, don't make me hide your knives again. I will go home and do it now if you don't come with me."

 

"NOOOOO! NOT THE GIBLETS! I MEAN KNIVES!"

 

"Wade, come on."

 

"NOW LISTEN UP! HERE'S A STORY! ABOUT A SPIDER-MAN WHO LIVED IN A BLUE WORLD!"

 

"Wade. Come with me and fucking get in the car before I have to web your face and every appendage.

 

"... Every appendage?"

 

"You are fucking gross."

 

"And you have a potty mouth. Pleeeeeeeez, Spidey, let me stay five more minutes and then we can go home and I'll let you web my dick like you said you wanted to."

 

"Well, don't you have such a good memory when it comes to sexual things..."

 

"Peter. I love you. But not if you make me go."

 

"And I don't love you if you stay."

 

"Sure you do."

 

"Nope."

 

Wade paused for a moment.

 

"PLEASE PETER PLEASE," he shouted, getting on his knees in front of his boyfriend, "LOVE ME! PLEASE LOVE ME PETEY!"

 

"I will if you get in the car."

 

Wade paused again.

 

"... Okay."

 

Peter and the boy trailing at his feet - Wade was too immature to be called a man - went outside and got in the car.

 

"Do you love me now?"

 

"Yes, Wade. I'll always love you, no matter what."

 

Wade paused once again.

 

He got out of the car.

 

"THEN THAT MEANS YOU'LL STILL LOVE ME EVEN IF I DON'T COME WITH YOU!!!!" he shouted as he ran back toward the house.

 

Peter sighed.

 

"The most insane person in the world is my fucking boyfriend," he muttered.

 

And with that, he went back toward the house to join Wade.

 

Because, as he said, he would indeed love Wade no matter what.


	5. A Suckish Movie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REALLY short, but I think I would rather write more super short ones than a few really good, pretty long ones. Plus it's a lot easier. (But tell me if they're boring. I can never tell.)

Wade hung his head even heavier on Peter's shoulder as a gunshot came from the speakers behind them and light moved about the entire theater. He knew it was a bad idea to see an action movie; not only for the fact that half of them ended up being cheesy, but because he basically lived the fighting scenes of an action movie, so it would always end up getting boring.

 

Obviously he didn't express this knowledge to his boyfriend strongly enough, because there they sat in Theater 12, with some stupid action flick (Wade didn't bother to remember the name) playing in front of them.

 

And back to the original point: Wade was bored as fuck.

 

He slurped his Icee and horked down candy and eventually resorted to catching pieces of popcorn in his mouth, but nothing seemed to work. He was stuck leaning against Peter, pulling on the strings of his hoodie, silently begging him to get up and finally let them leave.

 

Wade was not very good at persuasion.

 

Peter have Wade all the "shut up" and "shhh" he could handle until he eventually stopped and just held his hand over Wade's mouth to silence him. After enough of that, the movie was over, and Wade dragged Peter out of the theater, imagining himself as a little kid just because he could.

 

... Annnnd because Peter happened to call him that quite a lot.

 

They got all the way out of the theater to feel the cold wind, Wade instantly pulling Peter close to warm both of them, and they were on their way home. They began their six-block walk back to their apartment - they really didn't have a car and were too lazy to hail a cab - hand in hand, dodging other New Yorkans as they passed by.

 

"So... That movie sucked," Wade mentioned, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

 

"Oh come on, Wade. It wasn't that bad."

 

"Peter I knew exactly what was going to happen before the fucking writers did. I don't like it."

 

"Well then next time, you get to choose. What do you want to see?"

 

"I WANTED to see Despicable Me 2 before it left theaters, but NOOOOO! We just HAD to see Catching Fire, didn't we?"

 

"You have the maturity of a seven year old boy. No, that's too nice. Seven year old girl."

 

"Well girls tend to be more mature than guys so, ha!"

 

Peter just rolled his eyes and snuggled closer to Wade as they continued their walk, totally not caring about anything but the warmth that radiated from the other man's body.


End file.
